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You and Your Faults
You died and left me,
I cried until I couldn’t see.
I was alone in the dark,
With a shattered heart…
I’m sure you didn’t mean dead to be,
You claimed you loved me,
But you’re last memories that were keen,
Were sustained by a breathing machine…
The thoughts turned into pain,
As the horrible words gain,
They told me you were dead,
Lying on your death bed…
The preacher read,
The Ames were said,
The last bell chimed,
In a sick pattern rime…
Why am I the one and only,
Person to feel dark and lonely,
I can never see you again,
You use to be just around the bend…
Some do know and always will,
It is the life’s bill,
For a child in the dark,
With a permanently stained heart…
I never asked for this,
It’s like receiving a kiss,
Even if you don’t want it,
You are going to get it’s hit…
The only people you can get close to,
Are the people who truly love you,
It takes a long time to find one true,
It doesn’t fall right out of the blue…
But what’s taken from my heart,
Will always be a missing part,
I could never fully trust anyone,
Scarred it will just be a hit and run…
There is one person who holds me together,
Making me feel a little better,
But I know I can’t hide this from him,
To the darkness I never win…
I don’t want to hurt anyone,
I just want to be able to step in the sun,
Without drawing back from fear of the light,
The darkness now only feels right…
Many are troubled by my sad gaze,
They will never know how thick is this haze,
That has blinded me forever,
The darkness is just too c lever…
The darkness holds others and me,
I know it will never let us see,
The light without squirming,
The dark without yearning…
I’m being held too tight to live,
I have nothing, sadly, left to give,
I will always be different,
No way to repent…
I want to forget but yet hold on,
I know it is wrong,
To live in this path,
Of the darkness’ wrath…
Is it wrong to want light?
To see the world bright,
Happy and thriving,
Instead of gray and dying…
I have been branded,
Alone and stranded,
If I could I would,
Put out the dark flame like I should…
You died and left me,
I cried until I couldn’t see.
I was alone in the dark,
With a shattered heart…
Mixed Emotions
Sometimes I cling to the dark,
Sometimes I pull away,
Sometimes I wonder,
Why I ever want to stay…
The only time it helps me,
Is when others turn away,
At any time or point,
Of every single day…
Yet when I’m down and don’t want it,
It is always there,
I guess it’s because,
No one else cares…
It’s kind of like guardian,
Who curses other beings,
Unless you the one,
Who is having the surging feelings…
It attacks me when I’m down,
Taking me for granted,
Only staying long enough,
You leave me empty handed…
I love it yet I hate it,
It stalks me every day,
But yet I never seem to want,
To send it all away…
I hate it more than love it,
It sends shivers up my spine,
It makes my body tremble,
When someone is next to mine…
It is a secret kept,
A secret lost,
A secret revealed,
Right under Jesus’ cross… Untitled
Don’t worry about me,
I’m fine,
Stay out of the dark,
It’s mine…
This is something I won’t curse anyone to,
Something to bad to think,
That you could cause such pain,
Faster than the speed of a blink.
Something that will never leave,
It will be with me I fear,
Forever stuck in my black heart,
Always causing a dark tear…
Raining down on me forever,
It is hell and I’m a player,
They mess with me for fun,
I am the death payer…
I know I can never get out,
This is the darkest trap,
I wish I never had ever,
Set on the darkness’ lap…
I am its child now,
Can’t you see?
It seems the darkness,
Is the only one for me…
Come watch me play in the dark,
It seems I am used to it,
Not being able to see,
Not caring one little bit…
Don’t look me in the eye,
You will fall into this horrible place,
Your happiness will disappear,
Without the even slightest trace…
It wears at my memory,
I long for the time,
When laughter was near,
Not an accustomed death rime…
If it ever happens to catch you,
Don’t breathe, it is poison,
It will blind you bitter,
You won’t have a chance to run…
I admit I played around,
Never thinking it would be an addiction,
Just like a drug or a pill,
How bad my parents would shun…
Yes my parents how quaint,
They knew all along where I was at,
Just in a dark world,
Yet they only gave me pills and a pat…
But I can’t blame this on them,
They weren’t the ones who died and left me,
Yet neither of them understand,
How I can’t get over the dark and see…
They did drugs and I will to,
If it makes the pain go away,
If it will let me see the light,
At the end of the day…
No that’s what the dark wants me to think,
It gives me excuses to pitiful,
Lying to me like crazy,
Trying to make me believe I’m beautiful…
I am not though,
I am ugly and stained,
I am troubled all day an night,
How much I am pained…
Hate
I hate you all,
I hate you to death,
Except for the one,
That stands above the rest…
My hate is hidden,
I wish it would come out,
Instead of it hiding,
In a mysterious clout…
I need to get away,
Maybe never come back,
Only leave a sign for my love,
With my dark tracks…
But don’t follow my here,
It’s to dark for you,
You won’t be able to see anything,
With everything dark brand new…
Go ahead smite me,
Make my day,
Your dead body,
In a grave will lay…
Yes I’ll come to your viewing,
Your funeral too,
Pretending to cry,
As if I cared for you…
This was made of hate,
No one imparticular,
But the hate and depression,
Has now become perpendicular…
Go ahead yell,
Beat me to death,
Drink all my blood,
Stain your bad breath…
I love only one,
My one and only,
He will hopefully never leave me,
All dark and lonely…
A shattered mirror,
Just another day in my life,
That I’ve had to go through,
With in my back a knife…
I’ll pull it out,
And stab you over and over,
Make you drink forever,
Never again will you be sober…
Like me you will be drunk,
But not from beer just depression,
You will always be addicted,
Always plotting your oppression…
So I hit you and knock you out,
So what I don’t care,
Make you have something like me,
An unavoidable tare…
Like a cat’s cry,
It will ring in your ears,
Go ahead don’t stop,
Drinking those depression beers…
Look in my eyes,
But be ready to die soon,
You will fade away from the light,
With the dark side of the moon…
A wall has been built,
To keep out other things,
Only one may enter,
Into the dark rings…
But if you ever betray me,
Don’t expect much help,
From anyone or anything,
As you’re alone in the dark and you yelp…
Rhymes
Spikes in the rain,
Roses in the dust,
Can’t cure this pain,
My tears cause this rust…
I curse myself with writing,
Riming over and over
My pencil I’m always biting,
I’ll never come out sober…
I guess it could be worse,
But who really cares?
Take my heart out of my death purse,
With all your other stupid dares…
Don’t be so gullible,
Chew on your death pill,
This pain is always shunable,
No money, death’s your bill…
So you dare to laugh in my face?
Go ahead yell,
You’ll never put me in my place,
I don’t care you tattle tale…
At least I can survive,
This stupid dark hell hole,
Instead of my thrive,
Be beers and weed rolls…
You don’t trust me,
If I were you I wouldn’t either,
You’re too blind to see,
In my stupid dark weather…
Rain, rain,
Don’t go away,
Pain, pain,
On me every day…
Yah like my nursery rime?
This is how bored I get,
Louder than a mime,
Think about it for a bit… No Real Emotion
They whisper behind her back,
They say she’s in denial,
Always making stupid cracks,
Of when she will meet her death trial…
At home she puts on her face,
And seems on a happy rate,
Not a stranger to this place,
Yet this is the place she hates…
Lost in shadows she is content,
She has no one to trust either way,
Her heart has been tortured and bent,
By every single night and day…
She feels suffocated,
She has a blackened heart,
She is isolated,
From her life’s stupid part…
If she died tonight,
Would anyone even care?
The light makes the blade bright,
Does she even dare?
The cut is so deep,
It broke though her soul,
Will the Grim dare to reap?
No, he leaves her in her hellhole…
Nothing now will bring her peace,
No one will know how she really feels,
The pain will only increase,
Her anti depressants wont even make her heal…
Love
It is so hard to love,
When your heart is full of lust,
It’s hard to even breathe,
Caught under this dark dust…
The secrets and lies,
They have betrayed her,
She thought it was a secret,
Only everyone knew what they were…
Her love is mocked,
Made as a joke,
No one could ever know,
How betrayed is her hope…
Can’t Think
I am in a dark pit,
You wouldn’t understand,
Take my heart but don’t break it,
Its is cracked into pieces of sand…
I am in a dark mist,
I can hear through your words,
Almost like a diss,
That comes from death birds…
Please don’t leave me alone,
I have had to bare the weight to long,
I’m torn down to the bone,
I’m stuck is this sick dark song…
Anti Poem
Anti social,
Anti trust,
Anti angel,
Addicted lust,
Anti love,
Anti hope,
Anti good,
Cannot cope,
Anti special,
Anti true,
Anti safe.
Can't trust in you...
You know
You know what I’m going through,
How could you?
You see through my mask,
Like a never ending task…
Hold me tight,
Don’t let me out of your sight,
You know how this feels,
I will drown in my tears…
I love you,
This is way to true,
I thought I could never trust,
With my heart full of lust…
You will never know,
About my secret show,
That I have been able to conceal,
Because the pain will never heel…
I think about you night and day,
Mold me, I am your c lay,
Pull me out of my dark scene,
Turn me as bright as a sunbeam…
You help me,
Just like it was your duty,
As if a were a child,
Set out alone in the wild…
I was lost in a world of dark,
The darkness like a shark,
You pulled me out with power,
Gave me a purity shower…
But the darkness holds strong also,
Each day I receive a deathblow,
That’s something you can’t kiss away,
To the dark I’m a puppet in a play…
I can’t stand alone,
I’m torn down to the bone,
But you revived me,
I was blind but now I see…
Untitled
If you think you know me,
You’re not even close,
If you want to know me,
Let the darkness be your host…
But be careful,
It will never heal,
If you choose darkness,
Your secrets it will conceal…
On the wings of darkness,
Glide through the night,
You are a shadow,
With a dark bite…
Angels are no where,
Demons surround you,
Cry out for help,
They won't act until their cue…
But once you open the door to darkness,
It will never close back,
Stained in your blood forever,
Will be your dark tracks…
I have been scarred,
From the dreadful dark,
You don’t believe me?
Look at my stained heart…
It’s pitiful and broken,
From the hate and abuse,
What’s the point?
What’s the use?
Death and life,
To separate things,
Both love and hate,
Can its feelings bring…
A continues ryme,
A continues play,
That will play in my head,
Until my dying day…
I live in the world of shadows and hate,
No loving soul mate,
What a fairy tail and lie,
Someone to live with until you die… Bitterness
With Trembling finger,
I pick up the blade death bound,
The Darkness lingers,
I put the blade back down. . .
Eyes stained with tears,
Heart filled with pain,
Out come my deepest fears,
Life is only a worthless game. . .
Out in the daylight,
In a mask I hide,
Then with the mask I fight,
The darkness is my guide. . .
Feelings
A guiding light is jerked away,
For me to face another day,
The blue in the flame turn to red,
After all the bloody tears I've shed. . .
Blurs of shadows swurf around,
I look at the blade almost death bound,
One by one to flames go out,
Light is what life's all about. . .
Dark temptation linger on,
As I loose myself in that dark song,
Can the dark come out to play?
So I can face another day. . .
You know you can't resist the feeling,
Of deeper wounds with no healing,
Black water rinses over you soul,
As the warm turns to cold. . .
Under my scared I bleed,
Because of the cautions I didn't heed,
Take all of my advice,
And you will turn out perfectly nice. . .
Turn away without looking back,
Erase away all your dark tracks,
Never give it a second though,
To all the trouble you just brought. . .
Old Love
Shadows cascade across her tear worn face,
She hides everything from everyone,
She knows trouble would come from her holding her place,
To late to win they've already won. . .
If she chooses to let out her feelings,
It will just lead her more,
Into the darkness evermore appealing,
Under the weight she shall bore. . .
One person stands out,
But she couldn't show her true feelings,
It would cause to much worry about,
Trying to find a new way for healing. . .
She falls to her knees,
Praying for an angel,
Not knowing that her love sees,
Her and caught her every time she feel. . .
But she darkness she once thought freed her,
Now holds her hostage,
The one she loves is is love pure,
He will catch her when she is falling of the ledge. . .
Since she doesn’t and wont trust,
But she knows he is her exit,
Her love cant be lust,
She is truly loves him from the bottom of her blackened heart. . .
Silently
A victim of depression,
Addicted to oppression,
To numb to feel,
Any happiness appeal. . .
Darkness has pulled her in,
She is the gull once again,
She has been there before,
And thought she shut the door,
But once opened it never closes,
She should have knew this overdosage,
Would never wear off like a pill should,
Never living like she really could. . .
She wears a mask all day long,
Silently singing her mournful song,
Being deceived has become a normal thing,
Being bit by the darkness fang. . .
No one knows how she really feels,
Her true feelings she must conceal,
No one or thing to really turn to,
Always asking "Trust in who?"
Anything else she has left to say,
Will become her silent play,
That she reviews over and over,
Will she ever come out of the darkness sober?
March 5th Depression
To my life still concealing,
To a dark that’s never healing,
Colors swerve around me so,
Like a story left untold. . .
The pain inside is never ending,
To a dark that’s not forgiving,
I'm to depressed to talk it out,
I just want to scream and shout. . .
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