A despairing night
powerful emotion,
a sunny hour
filled with hope,
a harsh path to walk,
an answer sought,
never to be found in life,
a stone
shaped by the currents,
a storm
quickly flies past
leaving marks,
a beam of light
in the blackest of nights,
fading in the wind,
suddenly gone.

A state of Mind

A tear in eye,
dripping to cold frozen earth,
falling down,
ice to be.
A cold life.

No logic,
salty drops from nowhere,
running down red cheeks.
What happened?
Nothing for now.

A past,
is future.
Stalking history,
history stalking,
help?

A thing to be,
a thing of the past,
heavy luggage,
never to drop.
Glistening pool of liquid.

Memories of past,
anticipation of future,
thoughts of agony,
an inner being,
broken.

The special place,
alone, all alone.
Lonely?
Tall friends,
standing still.

Moisture rising up,
a river.
Moisture falling down,
an ocean,
made of salty drops.

Eternal feelings,
one emotion,
sneaking up.
Is a hidden depression,
a depression at all?

Hidden emotion,
growing like wildfire,
permanent marks,
turning into,
a state of mind.

Laughter

A simple sound,
can bring joy,
can bring pain.

Others laughing,
can be an awful sound,
can hurt inside.

Someone chuckling,
can be mean,
can mean harm.

You laughing,
can be cruel,
can be evil.
Others laughing,
can be a heavenly sound,
can warm inside.

Someone chuckling,
can be nice,
can mean good.

You laughing,
can be kind,
can be virtuous.

Misunderstandings

A very dangerous thing,
words can be.
Many a meaning,
words can hold.

Different eyes,
see differently,

ending words to their will,
always.

Twisted words,
twisted meaning,
words of duality,
the eye that see.

Articulated thoughts,
from an individual,
hold secrets,
the eye fail to see.

The eye can not see all,
a mind can see,
secrets present,

Secrets of fantasy.
No mind identical,
identical thought,
one is never the same,
the other is.

Minor misunderstanding,
major misunderstanding,
deadly misunderstanding,
fatal misunderstanding.

A mind,
a hope,
for a thought,
to be seen as it is.

Laughter to Live

Looking out,
nothing to laugh of,
a lot to cry for,
loosing a part of yourself.

Looking around,
tears swelling,
a bundle of feelings,
noone good.

Walking about,
find only pain,
a heap of suffering,
everywhere.

Lying down,
waiting for death,
a thought in the head,
curiosity erupting.

Looking inside,
finds something,
a little thing,
to laugh of.

Looking deeper,
tiny sting of joy,
a person rising,
with desire to live.

My Friend the Betrayer

Always coming to comfort,
arriving when needed,
helpful and soothing,
a dear friend.

The friends voice,
a voice of silence in nothing,
a voice of silence in noise,
an excellent friend.

Arrives discreetly,
sometimes not to be noticed,
not even by itself,
the best friend.

Very silent,
too silent,
not a sound,
from the friend.

Slowly changes,
refuses to leave,
demands and upsets,
a strange friend.

The same voice different,
a voice of silence crushing,
a voice of silence depressing,
an awful friend.

Arrives abruptly,
noticed by force,
forceful even on itself,
not a friend at all.

Quick to growth,
planting seeds,
weeds almost impossible to remove,
a friend not to be trusted.

Summary of a Life

Young child, running, happy.
Begins at school, other children.
Three years, friends and happiness.
Suddenly, evil-minded words, mean deeds,
Sorrow, great sorrow,
Pain, the pain.
Dying inside.

Another three years, know nothing but pain.
Empty shell,
Gleaming eyes, laughing and smiling,
Sometimes,
But constant weeping inside.
Perception changes,
Perception die.
Something calling,
Death want me,
Or do I want death?

Something new,
Taekwon-do.
Tiny scrap of self-esteem,
Tiny fragment filling the shell,
Saved my life?

Two years,
Changing?
Sometimes awful,
Sometimes decent.
Classmate attacks,
One of the awful.
Shovel in hand,
Falling metal caught,
With upraised flat hand.
Saved my life?

One year,
I see.
What do I see?
A friend, surrounded,
By ten.
Words and violence buzzing,
I see, I look around.
Over a hundred see,
Over a hundred turn away,
Trying to forget,
What they saw.
Many of them,
Friends of my friend.

Anger swelling,
Despised,
Of so-called friends.
No thought,
Walk alone.
Leave him alone!
Assailants laugh,
They are many.
School clock rings,
Walk behind friend,
Try to defend.
Strangling arm,
Forced to my knees.
I grip backwards,
Throw him overhead.
I walk behind friend,
Get kicked in back.

Tell teacher,
Angry teacher,
Talk to the ten,
For two hours.
Three days pass,
In silence and peace.
Suddenly, another year
In hell.

New year,
New school.
Friendly class,
Friendly faces,
Friendly words.

Hope,
Growing hope.
Mighty hope filling me,
The future looks bright.
In the sports hall,
All classes gathered.
I see.
What did I see?
Faces.
Faces I had tried to forget.

An event,
Shockingly unexpected.
Great hope, mighty hope,
Shattered as glass.
Piercing through me,
Grievous wounds,
Terrible sorrow,
Wounds on souls,
Do not heal,
Never to fully recover.

It never happened again.
Too late,
The damage was done.
Frail hope,
Futile hope?
Looked death in the eye,
Looked at him as I would a friend.
Tired, so tired.
A thought in my head,
Friends, family.
A reason to live?
Not for me,
But for them.

Hope healing,
Slowly,
I fear, I am afraid.
I remember,
I remember that nothing can hurt,
As much as hope can.
One day I found.
What did I find?
I found will to live,
I found poetry,
I found me,
I found gothdom,
I found..........
Happiness?
Saved my life?

What will happen?
I might live,
I might die.
What will happen?
Can I survive,
To be shattered again?
Can I survive,
The pain,
The sorrow,
Once again?
What will happen?
Only time will tell.
Time,
Heal no wounds.

Tellus

What is the world,
That is life,
That is death.
Is there evil?
Is there good?
What is right,
What is wrong.
Looking down,
The earth,
Scorched.

Feel of despair,
Hunger,
Starvation,
Fleeing,
Fleeing what?

What is life,

It could be a flight,
It could be a chase.
Some live in wealth,
Some can not afford food.

What happens,
Without food,
No good?
Many drop,
To the ground.

What is death,
Is it relief?
Is it happiness?
Is it pain?
Is it suffering?

Who knows,
Who can now.
Life is questions,
Death is questions.
No answers.

Is there an answer?
What is the questions?
I forgot....
I don't know,
You don't know.

Who knows?
Do God know?
Is there a God?
What is he,
If not a trick of the mind?

He could exist,
He could be there,
Is he there?
Do you know?
How can anyone know.

Only one thing can tell,
Only one way to know.
At your time of death,
You will know,
If....there is an afterlife.

If not,
No answers,
No questions any more,
Nothing....
Why would any want to know,
the truth?

Is the truth out there?
Is there a truth?
What is the world,
What is people,
Apart from lie upon lie.

So many speak,
So many claim,
They are right,
They know the truth.
Do they?

How can they know,
Have they seen it?
Have they?
Apart from dreams,
Beliefs.

Beliefs strengthen,
Force of will,
But,
Do they strengthen,
The force of mind?

Many things done,
With beliefs,
Evil things,
Good things,
Strange....

Strange this world,
Noone the same,
But all so similar,
Who am I,
Who are you?

The world....
So many people,
So many beliefs.
Who is right, Who is wrong.
Are anyone right?

Who can tell,
People lie,
People cheat,
For personal gain.
How can one know....

Perhaps by looking?
To see,
Things as they are,
In flesh,
But not in spirit?

When one look,
Look at the world,
What do one see?
Death, destruction,
Violence, pain.

What more?
Looking again,
Love, happiness,
Friendship, creation.
One see....

Another look...
Greed, hate,
Racism, detest,
Coldness....
The humans, so cold.

A freezing world,
World of starvation,
Starved in mind,
Starved feelings,
Seize to exist.

Little emotion,
Less emotion,
Less every year,
So much gained,
So much lost.

To loose....
We all loose,
I loose,
You loose,
Is all lost?

Why should you care,
Why should i care,
Why should anyone care.
What world do one want,
What do you want.

What one can do,
What one do,
Not the same.
To say one thing,
To do the other.

What one can do,
Rarely what one wish to do,
Improving life,
For oneself,
Ignoring painful impressions.

Sometimes saying,
One wishes to help,
But do one help?
Is there help to get?
Rarely.

Common, so common.
Lies upon lies,
Deceit, treachery.
Who to trust,
Who to love.

What is love,
Is it a state of mind?
What is a soul,
Is it a state of mind?
Or is it more...

Looking around,
To find answers,
Is there more?
The material object,
Give no answer.

Listening around,
To find answers,
Is there more?
The word,
Give no answer.

Only questions...
Searching answers,
Only to find,
Another question,
Causing despair.

No point in looking,
No point in listening,
To find what all seek,
There is no answers,
In this world.

The world,
So much evil,
So much suffering,
So much greed,
No one cares anymore.

No one?
A few cares,
Or do they?
Help, to help?
Or, for respect.

Helping where needed,
Where is it needed?
Wherever there is pain,
Wherever there is hurt,
The entire world....

The world is burning,
Not a day pass,
Without struggle
Combat and war,
The world is burning.

Hailstorms of fire,
Hate and murder,
Revenge,
What is revenge?
Merely a feeling.

Why seek revenge,
When the only thing it do,
Is to create more pain,
More lust for revenge
More death.

To kill,
Choice often made,
Usually by someone else,
Than those that kill.
A fatal action.

Everyone looks at actions,
But should one do such?
What should you do,
What to do,
Look at the reason behind?

Hidden reasons,
So many hidden,
Rarely shows,
A reason is dangerous,
For the owner.

The owner conceals,
His goals,
From everyone,
Or neon,
Concealed from the world.

This world we live in,
Yes, here we live.
It is what we make it,
It reflects those,
That inhabit it.

It is what we make it,
Each action,
Consequence.
What you do,
Is your world.

This is my world,
This is your world,
No one owns it,
No man, no animal,
The world suffers.

Too much suffering,
Too much hate,
Too much pain.
What is the point,
Why live.

There is a reason,
Live your life,
A good life,
Help others,
Try to change Tellus.

Make it,
Make it such as,
Such as you want it to be,
Make is so others,
Have a life like you.

It is up to all,
It is up to me,
To you.
What we want,
For others, ourselves.

All want wealth,
Only a precious few,
Do not.
Even the generous,
Wishes wealth.

Can happiness be bought,
Bought with earthly wealth?
Can it?
Is all those rich happy,
Is all those poor miserable.

Miserable in wealth,
Happiness in poordom,
One thing,
Create misery.
War.

War,
War is a part,
Of this world.
Why?
Because of us.

Is it necessary?
Was it ever necessary?
It is the greatest flaw,
Of man.
Oh, why!

Why indeed,
What is the flaw,
Where did it come from?
Somewhere,
Or nowhere.

Coming from nowhere,
Into us all
No one notices,
So few untouched,
In this world.

This world,
Our world,
Is it ours?
Who owns it,
But all that live.

We all live,
But what is life,
What fills life,
Filled by love,
Filled by hate.

One that hates,
Is empty.
Is he?
Is she?
So many empty?

Why are so many empty,
A question I ask,
Seeking an answer,
Finding none,
I wish an answer....

By all those questions,
The only answer is,
Within yourself?
What you do,
Is you.

Why not make it,
Make the world,
A place you want to live,
A place you want your children to live.
Why not?

So few try,
Too few try,
Too many look away,
Too many cares,
For nothing but themselves.

Not just in some things,
Not just in some parts,
Of Tellus.
Everywhere,
In all places.

For it is the nature,
Of human.
Why?
Who knows,
You know.

Inside all know,
But neon realize,
The extent.
Why so?
Who knows.

Tempted by gold,
Power,
Lust.
The heart of man,
The heart of the beast.

What is a beast,
If not human?
Say a lot,
Do a lot
Do we do what we say?

So much said,
So much done.
How can one,
Justify his actions,
For consequences.

A consequence for all,
An action to start it,
What happens in the world,
The world is perfect,
What is wrong?

Nothing is wrong,
All is wrong,
For neon can judge,
Among those human,
And neon above?

No one to see?
No one to judge?
Humans judge,
Is it a good thing,
For the world?

The world is what,
What is it?
It is what we make it,
What we do,
Is reflected by the world.

The world is,
It is as we make it.
What is the world?
How does it look?
What have we done!

It became as we made it,
It is a consequence,
It is no way back.
Can something be done?
How to mend, how to heal.

To heal it,
To mend it,
It can not be done,
Or can it?
Who knows.

Can it be done?
What will happen,
To the world.
What will happen,
To us.

Like a mirror,
Mirroring us.
Tellus,
Hanging on the wall,
Looking back.

So much done,
So much not.
The mirror is cracked.
The mirror is cracked.
Seven years of bad luck.

Violence and Death

One day a man came past,
two men that looked so strange.
One was a skeleton,
the other blood red,
who could those two be?

They behaved like madmen,
the red man ran around in ecstasy,
the skeleton jumped somersaults in bliss.
Why do they do this, the man pondered,
who could these two be?

To them he spoke,
who are you two!
I am death, the skeleton said,
and I am violence, said the red.
A glance at the man, his bones froze solid.

Why are you so happy,
the man asked scared.
we are happy for the need,
what need is that!
look at the humans!

Suddenly in the skies he were,
looking at earth so blue.
He saw, yes he saw,
what did they do,
the humans!

Two planes collide,
two buildings collapse,
anger swelled,
the man raged.
Who could do such!

Another place, another time,
the skies rained fire,
rockets and flames.
Blood and death,
the man shivered.

A desert so great,
houses and children.
The skies rained,
cries of help,
cries of agony.

A city big,
soldiers running,
civilians hiding,
shrapnel flying,
marketplace suddenly gone.

Countless dead,

So many dead,
so many that is no more,
always missed,
by those that knew them.

Look of rage,
on faces small,
seen from the skies.
Someone comes,
takes them with him.

Bags left in trains,
by those from city,
trains in pieces,
satisfaction,
on those small faces faces.

Again he said,
who could do such!
Torments and pain,
violence and death.
That is the nature of man.

The man cried,
so much pain,
so much suffering,
hate progressing fast,
faster than a racing-car.

And back he were,
to the two.
Why did you show me,
he said slowly.
The two grins gladly.

We show you your world,
for what you will meet,
One day.
One day,
your birthday.

NO! The man yelled,
I do not wish to be there,
why would I want to be there,
this is cruel,
no more rules!

You will be born,
for you are forlorn,
doomed to a life,
doomed to that life,
down there.

The last thing he heard,
oh how we like those three!
For they do for us,
killing and such,
Saddam, Osama and Bush.

Seeker

My entire life,
seeking for something.
What it was i did not know,
only that it existed.
Something keep calling for me,
what is it, what can it be.
Everywhere i sought,
was it an item, was it a feeling.
One day the urge to seek vanished,
the empty hole in me filled.
What happened, what did i find.
I did not realize at first,
thought about it, what could it be.
I found me,
I found darkness.

Loneliness

A frequent companion,
often he visits.
Never far away he go.
Lonely in the forest,
lonely at home,
lonely at school,
lonely in a crowd.
Never he seems to leave,
always there, haunting me.
Running through the trees,
he is pursuing me,
always next to me.
Who is following who?

Shattered Hope

What is shattered cuts,
cuts that never fully heal.
Pieces cutting through me,
searing fire coursing through my veins,
icy chill seeping into my marrow.
Want to die,
but the pieces of hope say no
Want to die,
But have no will to.
The will lie severed,
by the hand of what was shattered.
No hope is better,
than shattered hope.
I would rather have no hope.

Silent Pain

The greatest of cruelties,
come from the hearts of children.
One boy walk away from school,
one boy does not go home.
Solitude among the trees he seek
Hidden tears pressing on.
Small drops appearing,
gleaming in the pale, cold air.
Body quivering without a sound.
Dead leaves dropping from the trees.
Death, salvation, relief, peace, rest.
Death calls for me,
silently whispering my name.
A thought in my head.
Friends, family,
a reason to live

The Worst Feeling

A word, a deed,
worse than pain,
the greatest of sorrows.

Is like a well,
falling into it,
falling, falling, the well is empty
but is flooded

A word, a deed.
Why?
Become more and more afraid,
but the fear for death vanishing.
Why?

Is like a well,
falling into it,
falling, falling, the well is empty
but is flooded.
Falling, falling,
the well is empty,
except for me, falling,
in a bottomless well.