Its funny,

I submit these writings 3 to 4 years after coughing them up like pieces of dark and viscous lumps of mecus during a bad cold, I had a bad cold then and i remember it well. It didn't matter how I rationalised my feelings or put things into perspective, i could'nt explain why i felt the way I did and although in hind-sight i see now that the majority of those feelings were amplified by my willingness, no... by my dedication to destroy myself and everything around me, the remonance of that cold still holds value.

I got better, suddently achievement seemed easy.
I became Happy, Suddenly none of that shit mattered.

These articals i post here helped as, like i said - i coughed them up. Those feelings of hate, rage and self-importance could have, should have killed me but i got through it.

I encourage everyone here to write and to publish as much of their creative writings, drawings, videos or whatever as i promise, someone out there will relate to it and while its on paper (virtually), its not so much blocking your sense of feeling.

My Name is Ryan, feel free to contact me anytime you like.